Compromising (Poem draft)
When I was little I didn't know that there was a way to act that wasn't 100% myself,
didn't know
people around me paper bagged their own heads
Shielded others from the pages of their stories
I used to be a permanently open book,
showed everyone straight off what they were signing up for
That's how I knew I had friends
That's how I knew I had enemies: when people took my secrets and misread them as
common knowledge
All I ever wanted was for people to see the world like I did
See people with
no smoke
no mirrors
no filter
When I was little I saw everyone as who they were, because that's how I wanted them to see me.
But then I found
people wore faces that weren't
all theirs
I told myself that I should too
I convinced myself I wasn't changing, just improving
Wasn't cutting or repasting, just compromising
Told myself they could see me better that way
Analyzed how to join them not even realizing
I was letting them
Beat me
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