Compromising (Poem draft)



When I was little I didn't know that there was a way to act that wasn't 100% myself, 
didn't know 
people around me paper bagged their own heads
Shielded others from the pages of their stories

I used to be a permanently open book,
showed everyone straight off what they were signing up for
That's how I knew I had friends

That's how I knew I had enemies: when people took my secrets and misread them as 
common knowledge 

All I ever wanted was for people to see the world like I did
See people with 
no smoke
no mirrors 
no filter

When I was little I saw everyone as who they were, because that's how I wanted them to see me.

But then I found 
people wore faces that weren't
 all theirs
I told myself that I should too

I convinced myself I wasn't changing, just improving

Wasn't cutting or repasting, just compromising

Told myself they could see me better that way 

Analyzed how to join them not even realizing 
I was letting them 
Beat me




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