Precipice//Starcatcher

I hate looking at a blank page, so I guess that I'll fill it, although I'm not quite sure how to say hi after such a long time.

Welp. Hi.

Web History is such a strange thing, y'all. I started this blog in January 2013 (then called The Starcatcher after my favorite play/some of my favorite children's books). It grew out of a New Year's Resolution and many failed blog-drafts where I couldn't quite find my format or my voice. When I named and designed this one, I was determined to make it work (especially after I had printed the web address on a bunch of fancy business cards). Until 2016, I was a passionate, intermittent blogger--I juggled 6AM-1AM days along with SAT's, Extra Curriculars™ and posted gems such as this and this while I was half listening in my English classes.

As a young folk, a youth, a wee barren, I was always ON. Do you know what I mean? I would arrive at school and turn my proverbial brightness all the way up so that I could get through the day, deal with my teachers in a positive manner, and have enough energy and kindness to get through those Extra Curriculars™ I mentioned earlier while running on 5 hours of sleep--you know the deal. Then, when I got home, the brightness would dim, and I would be sad or lonely in the privacy of my own homework pile. 

In a dorm room, (not to mention a forced triple not up to penitentiary standards #thisiswhy) your private loneliness becomes public, and instead of hugging your mom, dog or fish for comfort, you hug your friends. College is that utopian/dystopian world where everyone is 18-25 and so your friends can't just be friends--they are your parents, bosses, siblings and (sometimes) pets. SO on top of having a new bunk bed, I had to readjust my brightness scale so it could fit the new situations I was in and that took a HELLA lot longer than I thought it would (shout out to those three AM cry sessions on someone else's floor am I rite?!). 

Going to college felt like I was changing everything I knew just a tad. I knew how to be a person, a student, and a friend, but in the context of college freedom, everything was a little bit different and a little bit deeper. At Wesleyan, there are no prereqs (something you probably already know if you are reading this). So (as one does) I practically took Theater and English for an entire year. (Can you hear my parents begging me to expand my horizons? I can). My objective shifted from getting good grades to acquiring actual knowledge and creating actual art, which is both dope and demanding.

All of this is to say that when I got to college, I didn't really feel equipped to describe my university experience as it was happening. I drafted a few posts, but I couldn't quite figure out my train of thought, so I decided to let The Starcatcher go--she could hang in my High School world while I moved on to the whirlwind of college. I figured I wouldn't miss one form of media sharing-- I started a finsta, started a journal, andddddd here I am now, the summer after Freshman year, blogging! Call me an exhibitionist, but I miss sharing long form, and this seems like the best way to do it.

I don't want to write over The Starcatcher or anything. I switched up the format and changed the name, but it's still the same ol' me writing about my adventures, thoughts and everything in between. I've left up some of my old entries so go read those and laugh at my innocence and typos (or marvel in my wisdom) if you want to.

I think that as humans we are always re-categorizing and shifting, always on the edge of something new, every second. So here we are. On the Precipice.